Learning About Spirituality 

Welcome. Gracia.  Thank you! I am hoping I can give you some hope because I am just about Medicare age, have been mostly thinking I was sthe most unhappy person in the world, to now being the happiest person in the world! And I have prayed about this asking Papa God since I was little, what was wrong with people. Why many were so angry and I was afraid of them.  And then the people at work were smiling, and then talked weird, like illogical.  And then talking to me like I was a child, and in Transactional Analysis, this meant that they would use language and non verbal comments that was not adult to adult.  I also learned that my mind works on associations, the Holy Spirit can remind me of things that Jesus taught me.  Now when I hear it from the Holy Spirit, I feel peaceful.  But if I  hear it from you know who, the snake in the grass with his invisible dark frequencies, yes, sounds sci fi, but that is another discovery. You see, everything comes in sound waves, and we were given a SOUND MIND. And my SHEEP hear MY VOICE & they follow me.  So, I heard my shepherd's voice, and it was soothing. I trusted him. And he with the other pastors began to pray extra for me, and I started asking Papa God more questions.  Then I was getting less and less afraid of what people were saying and noticed, my life was much like the characters in the Bible.  And so my pastors prayers were like the friends lowering me through the roof to the feet of Jesus, why? Because Jesus is in the House! and Jesus healed my cognitive paralysis, and I got up and began to walk. Kinda shaky, but walk.  And I started to write, and listen, and write what I was hearing, which are the Scriptures. And I noticed and sensed when I saw things, & would ask Papa God what that was all about. I call that God's non verbal communication.  I noticed things in the commumication that were not logical to my VERY LOGICAL brain, and others wouldn't hear the illogic.  so I would ask Papa God to clarify, and He would.  Then I would look at the pastors or listen to the sermons & listen to everything I could, asking the Lord to clarify, & wow! I cannot get enough!  I would listen to sermons that the Lord led me to & listen to the audio bible at night, asking the Lord to build His Love Neural pathways in my brain.  And I couldn't get enough of the worship music that would transport me to heaven!  And even that I started hearing more wondrous things about the Scriptures with more love than I had heard before! The more I hear the Lord's voice, the happier I am! I am so joyful, and have the peace that passes understanding! Despite not having anything that I thought would make me happy!  So this is my message of hope! I am so dang happy that I feel resurrected! It was like my heart was hardened, with Jesus in there, and when circumcized, it opened my heart up to be a heart of Flesh! Tender hearted towards others! To lover the Lord my God 1st, which is to ask Him what He desires, & He desires that all men come to the knowledge of Himself! Do you know why? Because since I have sought Him through the Storm, I have found Him, Perfect Love! All for me! Not to worry, but to rest!  Which I am not perfect at this, but I am soooo happy, so joyful, have so much Peace, that I want you to know this too! And so does Papa God! So the secret is that when I loved Papa God 1st, when I ask Him what He would like me to do with each person, each need, each encounter it often means to sacrifice what I want, what I desire, for the NEED of the other person.  and I have learned. ,that though obedience is uncomfortable, it serves a purpose that has taught me how to truly Love like Jesus! I think I can say almost that my spirit is like a Twin of Jesus' Spirit.  My soul is in more harmony with the Soul of the Lord! Papa God has Perfect Love, Jesus has Mercy & the Holy Spirit has Compassion! Compassion comes through suffering in my understanding. So if you suffer more, you have a choice to trust the Lord, and know He is causing all things to work for my Good.  When I didn't understand that, I was well, I am sorry to say I was grouchy.  So I apologized to the Lord & asked how to do better.  Sometimes apologize to others too.  And I use to be obedient out of fear of being sent away.  Pastor must have known that, so that when I was obedient to what the Lord said, things didn't seem to go my way.  So the Lord was allowing me the discomfort of obedience, to grow in perseverance, character & hope, to look more like the Twins of Love & Mercy, gaining Compassion.  For me to look more like my bro Jesus.  And so when I realized that only God is good, & He is the One in me that does all good, I was sad thinking I had nothing to offer Papa God. So I asked what I could give Him & do you know what He said? Can you guess? it's a Scripture why it is good to learn this part of the mystery.  It is for my good, to do it.  It's that when Papa wants me to put His desires 1st, His concerns about another in need of the knowledge of Him, the knowledge of how much He loves each of His family, that when I am obedient to put His desires 1st, to sacrifice my desires, He said that I get to choose Obedience. Why? Because if you love me Papa God says, obey my commandments.  And knowing that I am able to love Papa God back with my choosing to put the other person 1st, to wash their feet like Jesus, to respect & honor them instead of thinking about myself, to obey the Lord, at times having said, "I don't think that's a good idea Lord." like when He would tell me to ask Pastor to come back to choir.And Papa God would say, "do it anyway."  And I always discovered that it was good.  That in my obedience, there was some lie, some fear, that the Lord wanted to heal.  So that I benefitted from obedience in learning how to love the Lord with all my heart and with all my soul and with all my mind.  And I am less double minded with my mind and the mind of Christ.  So I am now looking like my Twin, Jesus? Maybe being born again? wearing the mantles of Love & Mercy? I heard that & was prophesied with that knowledge from the Lord.  I am thinking it applies to more than this little vision, but boy, this feels so good, I want to tell the whole world about this transformation, with the Renewal of my mind.  so read your bible, listen to worship music and ask Papa God everything.  You know we are Holy Ghost Walkie Talkies. You know that I learned that I was tuned into the static Snake Radio like Eve, and didn't even know.  Until I began to be still, in the Presence of My Savior.  Until I tuned in to listen for His Heartbeat.  Like everything that has come into my brain now is sorted out, & the Lord has turned all the bad things for my good. So are you suffering? Hold on, Trust. Worship, Rejoice! Why? Because it healed the mangled nerual pathways in my brain. And ask Papa, ask the Holy Spirit who lives in you. (Pastor Duane said that is why you lower your head, & close your eyes, because when you pray, you look at your tummy because the Holy Spirit is in you! and I can prove this scientifically! in the near future, with a neurological research study!  woo hoo! And the Word was made Flesh, & Jesus is the Word, covering my spirit with His Flesh & Blood,He has given me His Mind & His Holy Spirit,  so this body that I have as a tent, as a tabernacle, a house of prayer, that I belong to Jesus, my Twin Brother, Love & Mercy, & the Holy Spirit of Compassion,  so twin spirits, with Jesus doing everytning good & I get to enjoy His Presence. He is my Beloved & my Beloved is mine! My soul does magnify My Lord! And when you see Jesus in you, then you will see Him in others that are suffering  because they don't know Him YET.  So I ask, & I pray, & I wait, knowing He wants the same thing.  All is good. Love my enemies & pray for them, that they see me as Jesus in Disguise, who loves them deeply.