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This is new understanding. And I back what I know in the Bible. My Brain doesn't think unless I hear a thought. When I started out, popping out of my mom's womb, I was hurting, and then slapped, so that I would breathe. I think that coming to earth was kinda like my spirit had died, coming across from the Heavenly Garden of Eden? into the Wilderness, into darkness. I think I had my Brother the Holy Spirit, love and Mercy, of God, though scared, like heck & pretty grouchy.  This life seemed like a rough place from the get-go.  And so I have discovered a big difference between the Nature versus Nurture debate.  I am, you are, created in the Image of God, the Imago Dei, but everyone is unaware of God's Perfect Love, repeating the errors & sins learned, but that we are totally unaware that we are not loving each other completely correctly!  So like some people like to fight and feel loved, but then say I hate conflict, I hate fighting, I am afraid, with triggers of my life being at stake, of my history of being attacked, with trigger words, trigger parallel memories, and I was recently triggered by a friend who intentionally was aggressive with me and switching accusations, and I became triggered into fight or flight. And then minimized by another in charge, but heard pastor ask if we were ok with the Lord? And I said, I am Lord, aren't I?  And so it was the enemy got a hold on me triggering that spirit of fear hertz that hurt my brain, in the past, the old dance when my family like that dance they were use to.  And so I had stumbled by grace, with a buried fear that if I got angry, I would be rejected and abandoned and sent away.  Now I asked for an apology, but they don't want to give it, and I trust the Lord, so it is up to them to do so.  I was falsely accused and sick feeling attacked verbally, and I was not able to worship, until I heard the Lord say, what that trigger was.  Then the Lord spoke through my favorite Christian psychologist where I get daily insights into behavioral patterns.  And it identified that people need the Lord, we need, I need the Lord, but until He convicts them, until He tells me what I am doing right or wrong, I can just trust He is working all things for the good. I think the scenarios is that like me, we don't see our sins. No one wants to see it. So we can confront, but if the person doesn't respond, it is sad. But no one knows what is wrong, until the Holy Spirit in us explains it.  So when we are completely intact with the Lord, if I was, if I didn't have these guarded triggers, if there wasn't a spirit of fear by me, I would not have responded in fear.  But alas, I did. Just like when I was married. Just like why I didn't know what was wrong with my responses not connecting to how others felt.  However, it is also true that the other people don't know what's wrong, but want a relationship. But shun the Lord who is the only one who can "steal your pain, heal your brain, (of neural triggers of fear and anger) , the only God who wants relationships reconciled, but if we are not willing to receive the truth, then I can pray and know that God will answer my prayers.  I can rejoice that God will restore what the locusts have eaten.  Because He loves my kiddos and family more than I do. In His Timing. And to me, this is the greater vision of the answer to the Tehodicy question, which I had since I was little, which is "Why God do you allow evil?"  So my persepctive is that all of us are evil, but they don't want to admit it? All of us have sinned, but all have forgotten? And that is part of the reason by His Grace that I am so happy. I just have to worry about my behavior. I need to confront when He tells me, for the good of the other person. No spirit of anger. But saying they want the relationship from before where they can do what they want, without consequences.  But if I love the way that the Lord loves, when I am obedient , buy His Grace, to love my enemies, I can have compassion on those who don't understand, as I didn't , until the Lord explained it . (John 14:26) for His Glory, and the benefits that I have been rewarded is that I can enjoy the Fruits of the Spirit, knowing I am trying to be obedient, to return love back to the Lord. Not that I am perfect, because I sin, having a dirty thought ,from that spirit of fear that may always be near, ready to pounce on any one not prepared. That is why I am writing this info on the website, to give my understanding that helps alleviate the pain of not understanding. Because I have been miserable my whole life, but have learned to pray more, have more praying for me, & pray for my loved ones, even the ones that don't like me from triggers that the enemy uses to break relationships. It is my hope, that with this understanding, of how the enemy causes brain pain, with lies to kill hearts, that I can promise you that our Gracious Papa God can alleviate all the pain of a lifetime, in one moment.  But when the Lord reveals His Love, people will know Him, with His Mercy & Perfect Love.  It's also a matter of semantics and percetages.  If I sin 99% of the time, not taking every thought captive, and you sin 1% of the time, we are both sinners.  And I love much, because I have been forgiven much.  But others accuse me of thinking that I am better than they, but that is a lie.  And the paradox is that they are judging me saying I think that way, because they think that I am better than they, but that is not Truth.  Intentional Love is the Key, to the Heart of God. That when I pray for my enemies, to see Him, to experience His Love, when He makes known their sin against me, their error, that is the same as me not feeloing loved by the Lord in my heart, that only He can restore through intimacy with Him.  does that make sense?  I hope that helps.  Shalom. Peaches 


Notice the posture picture of the girl to the right. I have done that in worship singing. the first time I saw a choir pastor do that it reminded me of Jesus.  and also that Papa God was giving His Family a great big hug.  

Now I want you to know that all the relationships here on earth can thwart or enhance our relationships with the Lord.  We all have triggers, good and bad. With every thought that comes into our noodles.  So if you have a negative reaction, there is a lie. Pain is perhaps the negative hurtful dark frequency presence of the fear factor.  So you can go through the prayer sequence: ask Jesus what the feeling is, what the 1st time that feeling was in a memory, then what the lie is, then what the Truth is, and be prepared to have all those years of pain removed.  Yessum. Freedom. No pain, and you realize that the Lord is right there to rescue you from the lies and attacks of the enemy. Perfect Love. Perfect Peace. Perfect Joy. the Lord is waiting to help comfort you like you have not been comforted before. That is why Jesus died, so the Holy Spirit could let you experience the abundant life.  Try it. There's nothing like it! Sometimes, though, you need someone to walk you through. I  am trying to get ready to schedule time with those who want to try it. I am hoping to make it like a small business, because I am in need of income. Otherwise, go to church & you get the same results!  blessings! 


The Amenities of an active prayer life is Perfect Peace no matter what is occurring around you.  I am faced today with loss of everything. I don't have any one who prioritizes me. But I still feel so loved.  I went to church and heard about the white washed tombs and the money changers. And yes, I felt badly knowing that I am those guys. I am the wicked that prospers. And it's funny because I have all kinds of people saying how judgmental and how I think I am better than them. Sad. That's just the opposite. that's a projection of their fears I have discovered.  When you criticize someone, you speak about yourself. But when you bless a person, you also bless yourself. So just don't criticize, but speak truth.  It's all good no matter what.  Jesus loves me despite the yucky thoughts I have.  That's why I need Him. That's why He loves me because of my need of Him. And I love much because I am forgiven much. We don't have to hide. That is the reason Jesus sacrificed His life so that we could enjoy Life in Him.  Try it. He's waiting to love on you! Don't be afraid. If the Lord can love me, He can love anyone!  

Sleeping & Eating

Are you resting enough? Can you share a meal? even a cup of coffee tastes better with fellowship.  And just enjoy the company, don't worry so much about the food? I eat alone alot now.  I miss meals with family. I miss the sounds of people enjoying one another, the laughter, the joy, the love. That's why COVID was so hard especially to the shut ins at the nursing homes where they couldn't come out of their rooms. So visit when you can, even if it is for 10 minutes or so.  Give em some love.  Many of us are starvin for people food. that's how we are built.  Thank God I have Jesus in my life so much right now, otherwise I think I would perish.  And I want everyone to know He loves us.  Enjoy! 

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